


Then I Desired You

by Itar94



Series: Building Neutron Stars [6]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alpha Evan Lorne, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Building Neutron Stars: The Evan/Radek Arc, M/M, Omega Radek Zelenka, Original Character(s), Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Season/Series 02, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-24
Updated: 2013-08-24
Packaged: 2017-12-24 12:58:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/940264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itar94/pseuds/Itar94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every time Lorne comes down to the lab wishing to spend some free time together before he is off on another off-world mission, Radek is both tremendously pleased and a little surprised.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Then I Desired You

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second part in _The Evan/Radek Arc_ in the _Building Neutron Stars_ verse, preceded by [First I Desired the Colours](%E2%80%9D). The timeline is the same as in Following These Frayed Threads (Leading Somewhere) (John/Rodney), but bits and pieces referring to moments from earlier stories in this series may occur.

  
[ ](../tags/Building%20Neutron%20Stars:%20The%20Evan*s*Radek%20Arc)   


  
**Gift** /ɡɪft/  
[noun - verb]  
 _the act of giving;  
_ _item given from one person to another_  


* * *

The first time the Major enters the lab willingly, without fleeing even as the present scientist notices how the item previously lying dormant on the table suddenly begins to emit a warm glow, Radek is pleasantly surprised, albeit a bit wary.

He wonders what’s happened now, if there’s been another disaster, if the radios are dead and therefor the Major has come to fetch him – but no, that does not compute. There are no alarms blearing and no panicked cries and no sudden abnormal spikes in the data filling the screens around him.

Then the Major asks, “Hey, doc. You busy?”

And there is no disaster as Radek finishes the diagnostics of the hour before agreeing to accompany the man to the mess. A cup of coffee with company could never hurt.

* * *

Major Lorne is a puzzling man. Quite hushed and drawn back, following orders as expected, but ready to enter a fight and so distinctly _alpha_ , even if he has this calm side that Radek does not at first expect given that he constantly carries around his side-arm.

* * *

The lone life-sign picked up by the sensors on a remote part of the city piques his interest. There are neither labs currently in use in that section nor any living quarters. There is no reason for the single white dot to stand there for an hour at the time without moving.

Before he can investigate though he’s called over the radio for another emergency, and by the end of the day the thought has fled his mind.

* * *

He had no idea Lorne could sound so passionate. He speaks of the gate and of his incredulity the first time he stepped through and of Atlantis’ beauty, and he asks how things are going with research and as they sit in a quiet corner of the mess, sipping at the Athosian variant of coffee, they gladly discuss anything between the horizon and the stars.

But they always avoid talking about the Wraith. The Wraith are only bringers of danger and destruction and death, of unhappiness, and neither of them seek it.

* * *

There’s the ordinary chaos in the gate room as the premiere team rushes in from yet another mission gone awry.

An hour later, once McKay has been released from the infirmary, Radek tries to avoid him by sitting across the room, because Rodney is very cranky and displeased and waving his arms and generally taking up too much space for them to be able to work properly. And he won’t shut up.

The man’s aggravation and worry rises with every minute and eventually, Radek turns to face him, pushing away the computer from the alpha’s hands – if he can’t work because he’s too concerned about his mate, who still is being treated for injuries by Carson, then he should not be in the lab at all. “It is all right,” Radek assures him, “we can work fine without you. We are not children or imbeciles.”

“Right, well then,” Rodney says and casts a final glance at the readings and Radek has to push him out with a mutter in Czech about stubborn alphas not realizing they should be by their mates’ sides.

* * *

Shortly thereafter (by Lantean standards, which means that on Earth the injured omega would still be bedridden for a couple more days, but the infirmary here has access to Ancient machines and can work wonders) Colonel Sheppard is once again on his feet. He’s seen running laps with Ronon Dex and training in the gym and shooting targets without issue; it also means that Rodney is back to being his usual annoying, conceited self, and he mutters about _Stupid idiots throwing rocks_ and _‘Just a scratch’, my ass!_ and other similar things while he thinks nobody is looking.

Anyone not familiar with the Canadian might be unable to understand just how _worried_ the man is, and that he doesn’t seek to annoy anyone per se, but that he’s walking on this tightrope of emotions and the slightest tilt risks throwing him off balance. Or how possessive he is, and how he clings to everything and everyone he holds dear, even if the man himself would be the last person to admit it. Radek has worked alongside him long enough to know this, and he’s not blind (few on the base are).

(If the Colonel would be ripped back to Earth for whatever reason, McKay would be right behind him. There is no doubt about it.)

Radek just shakes his head at the couple when he sees them, talking animatedly as they walk down the corridors, discussing this or that about the city’s security or the state of their team. They are for most part inseparable, especially when their daughter accompanies them everywhere across the city, and Rodney proudly shows her off even if it’s been several weeks now and everyone have seen the girl thrice – Sheppard just quirks an amused grin at his mate’s antics; _He never changes. (I prefer it that way.)_

Anyone thinking that fatherhood would humble McKay clearly mistake themselves.

* * *

Every time Lorne comes down to the lab wishing to spend some free time together before he is off on another off-world mission, Radek is both tremendously pleased and a little surprised.

Because he’s just a nondescript scientist (“You’ve saved our asses too,” Colonel Sheppard has said on an occasion though; “Rodney isn’t the only brilliant mind on Atlantis.” To which naturally the alpha had protested loudly) and what interest could a man such as the Major possibly have in _him_?

* * *

There is just too much going on in and outside the city for Radek to be able to put aside his duties, and between sleeping and eating and generally being busy, he has no time to investigate the life-sign that with irregular intervals makes it to that remote balcony, lingering for an hour or so at the time.

What people do in their spare time is none of his business, after all. It could be some stray marine training in solitude or one of the civilians relaxing with a book or something else entirely personal and harmless, and none of Radek’s business.

* * *

Lorne suddenly appears in his doorway.

“Can I help you, Major?”

Radek is a mixture of hopeful and fearful.

_Please don’t let McKay have done something stupid while he’s trying to show off or ended up incapacitated. Please don’t let the gate have exploded. Please don’t let a disaster have ruined my one day off for eight weeks –_

“There’s something I want to show you. Come on.”

* * *

The view from the balcony is astounding. Evan’s painting is even more so, and Radek is happy that the man feels that they are close enough for him to reveal this secret passion of his. Because Evan admits that he has longed to lift a brush again for years but there has no time and his mind has felt dry and empty, but Atlantis and her people gives him plenty of inspiration.

(Radek wonders briefly if their meetings and talks over coffee matters any. If his voice and presence has helped lifting the Major’s heart. If _he_ perhaps is one of those inspirations, or if he’s just painting his own illusions with these beliefs.)

* * *

It slowly crawls upon his mind that he cannot recall the first time he referred to the Major by first name, or the first time he made the man laugh, or the first time he felt entirely at ease with the man. Perhaps he is not meant to. Perhaps they were always meant to be this way, so comfortable with each other that there are no boundaries, and memories are blurred together.

Yes, together, they are at peace. Together they can look across Atlantis and feel joy and relief of being alive, and when the Major is slowly slipping ever closer – a hand on his wrist, a breath near his ear, a soft murmur as the night closes in - Radek doesn’t feel discontentment or fear.

He hasn’t been allowed much personal happiness for a long time.

* * *

It takes three months for the painting to be completed.

* * *

Lorne is called out on another mission in an hour many people on base are sleeping, and it’s one of the times of the year when Radek has taken some seventy hours off in order to ride through his heat.

It’s strangely more painful this time and the hours seem to slow down.

In the morning, when he’s both tired and refreshed and hungry and eyes a little wet because of loneliness, the Czech finds a parcel waiting for him outside the door, with a message scribbled on top of it with a fine hand.

_Noticed you liked it. Keep it._  
 _I should be back from M1K-177 in a couple of days. Coffee in the mess when I return?_  
 _– Evan_

* * *

He hangs the painting above the desk in his private quarters, one which he so rarely uses in favour of the labs.

But in the evenings as he goes to sleep and faint moonlight slips through the ancient windows and lands on the wall, he sees the silhouette of Atlantis immortalized on the canvas. And he remembers the sound of the brush against the colours and Evan’s suddenly so gentle hands; so unlike how the hands must appear while the man is in battle.

* * *

“Incoming wormhole!”

Radek has waited for eight hours, all since the report came back, of trouble with the locals, whispers of chaos and fire, mutterings of confusion. All since Sheppard’s team went to M1K-177 to aid them. All since Evan’s last cup of coffee with him before he headed out.

It is not Evan’s team that returns.

* * *

When the Colonel approaches, Radek’s heart sinks, his lungs contract and he doesn’t want to believe this cruel truth.

 _I’m sorry,_ is written in Sheppard’s eyes as he hands over the ashen dog tag with Evan’s name engraved on it, _I’m sorry,_ but all he has now are echoes of what might have, could have, maybe may have been, and he wonders if Evan ever thought – if he ever wanted (if he wished for _more)_ but now it’s too late to ask.


End file.
